Sexual Problems

This is a very sensitive and usually private area of concern. We all look for closeness, intimacy and fulfillment in our lives. One area of real importance is our sexuality. Just as we may have problems in other areas of our lives, we can have problems with sex and sexuality, too.

The most common sexual problems for women are painful intercourse or such fear of pain as to make intercourse impossible (vaginismus). In men sexual difficulties can include problems with erections, premature or rapid ejaculation, delayed or “retarded” orgasm. Both sexes can experience sexual problems as a result of low sex drive or low desire or difficulty or inability to have orgasms. Both sexes can also experience pain or other discomfort during intercourse. Both sexes can also experience problems of sexual confidence, body image, sexual communication within couples or sexual difficulties due to illness.

Sometimes people have problems accepting themselves for who they are and feel uncomfortable accepting that they love people of the same gender.

However, many people do not seek help for these difficulties. There are many reasons for reluctance to talk to a stranger, even a professional, qualified sex therapist or counsellor, about such intimate and private problems. Shyness or nervousness about sex in general, shame about discussing sexual problems, fear of being ridiculed, embarrassment, not wanting to upset things in your relationship(s) or for religious reasons.

Sex and sexuality are a vital part of human nature and of adult intimacy. That is why it is so important to seek help if you have a sexual problem.

Psychosexual therapy or counselling is a specialist area of therapy requiring specialist training and experience. I can offer you a sensitive, professional, confidential assessment, based on my extensive specialist knowledge.

For 20 years I have worked for the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust in its specialist psychosexual and relationship clinic. I have worked with all of the above common sexual difficulties and with some not so common ones (for example, infidelity; internet pornography addiction).

Human sexuality affects all aspects of our being so in psychosexual therapy it is especially important to look at how sexual problems affect our whole lives, our relationships with ourselves and with our partners.

In common with other psychosexual therapists I work confidentially with you although sometimes it may be necessary for you to have physical examinations or investigations usually through your GP. I never physically examine clients – and you will never be asked to undress or to do anything sexual in sessions. I offer effective “talking therapy”.

Sexual problems can develop for many different reasons – relational, personal, emotional and / or physical. I work in a wholistic way that attends to all of these areas because these factors can affect each other.

You can attend sessions on your own. If you are in a relationship it is often helpful if both of you can attend – even though some people say “it’s my problem, not my partner’s”. We discuss this when we meet. You can either ask your GP or hospital specialist to refer you to me for psychosexual therapy or counselling or you can get touch with me directly if you prefer.

I have been a General Member of the UK College of Sex & Relationship Therapy (COSRT) since 1995; and, having successfully completed my post-graduate Diploma in psychosexual care, I was eligible to apply for accreditation in 1997.